Updated 04.11.25

By Laura Tivendale

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Parties in sparkly clothes. Hosting big dinners in a beautifully decorated home. Travelling to see loved ones. Through social media, shops, magazines, adverts and films, we are bombarded by images of what the festive season should look like. When living with a health condition, the reality can look very different. Perhaps the season of excess shines a light on what you don’t have in your life; the expectation to be sociable and spend time with loved ones increases feelings of isolation; the twinkling lights set off a migraine; the Christmas pudding triggers an IBS flare; or spending time in busy shops is too overwhelming for a sensitive nervous system. 

We can set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, driven by internal or external pressure, or that thief of joy, comparison. We might find ourselves comparing not only to glossy images, but also to how friends and relatives are spending this time. Or maybe it’s a more personal comparison - the memory of something you used to enjoy at this time of year that is no longer possible for you. Day to day life continues, perhaps with medical appointments and symptom management, responsibilities at home or work, yet somehow we expect ourselves to manage so many extras on top. 

You probably have your home environment set up in a way that supports your health needs. Visiting others with a change of environment, or even having different people in your home, can feel challenging. There may be disruption to your daily routine that usually supports your health and wellbeing. This in itself may lead to anxiety or frustration. 

Suddenly, everyone wants to see everyone, at the busiest time of the year! If you have a limited social battery, this can feel overwhelming. If you’re not able to socialise in the way you would like to, this can lead to feelings of isolation. Or perhaps you find yourself surrounded by people but still feel isolated because you feel alone in your situation.

Decorations can be very beautiful and uplifting, but they also add a lot of sensory input that can challenge a sensitive nervous system. Flashing lights, crowds of people, loud music - you might feel more like hiding away than entering into the festive spirit.

If you live with a health condition, you may well experience waves of grief for the life you had or hoped to have. The festive season can be a time of year when those waves feel rougher. Perhaps they catch you off guard and need space and care, which you might not feel you have capacity for. 

Strategies to help navigate and enjoy this time

Bringing gentle awareness and compassion to challenges you face during the festive season can be empowering. However you mark this time of year, there are helpful strategies you can make use of to take care of yourself and to experience joy and connection.

1. Let yourself off the hook

How are thoughts showing up? Perhaps in the form of expectations, ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’, comparisons or memories. Notice these thoughts, be curious about how they make you feel, and remember, you don’t have to believe or act on them all. If you allow yourself to be unhooked from the pull of the thought, to allow it to come and go, what’s left? Does it feel a little easier and calmer? A little less pressured?

2. Prioritise and plan… but be flexible!

If you’re living with a health condition, you’re probably an expert in this already, constantly prioritising and planning activities. What pacing skills can you apply at this time? Can you get ahead with plans and preparations, allowing space for what’s most important to you? Perhaps you could simplify, prioritising what matters most and letting go of the rest? And of course, even the best laid plans might need to change, so try to allow for an element of unpredictability.

3. Awareness brings choice

What choices can you make so that this time works with your needs, rather than against them? If tradition is important to you, could you start your own accessible ritual, for example lighting an advent candle each day and having a few peaceful moments watching the flickering flame? If you value socialising, could you be creative in how you connect with people, perhaps sharing a mince pie and hot chocolate with a friend over FaceTime?

4. Boundaries and communication

It can feel easier to take care of ourselves, to keep up essential parts of our routine and to avoid unnecessary symptom triggers if we share what we need with the people around us. For years I pushed through Boxing Day, joining family despite having already had a tiring Christmas Day together. I thought that was the only acceptable way because it was what we’d always done, but that was just a thought, and it was one that pushed me beyond my limits. Now, my Boxing Day is protected for rest. My family know and respect that. When we’re together, my family also know not to have flashing lights on or too much background music. They also understand that I take myself off for quiet moments. What simple adjustments could you make and share to help support your health and wellbeing at this time?

Supportive practices for the festive period

During the festive season, any routine we have with our meditation practice might inevitably change, but it can be incredibly helpful to drop in short practices when we can.

1. A festive Treasure of Pleasure

You might be familiar with The Treasure of Pleasure from Mindfulness for Health or Letting in the Good from Mindfulness for Stress. Try a festive version, noticing the flame of a candle, the beauty of a decoration, the joy of a child, the comfort of your favourite hot drink, listening to a nostalgic Christmas song or curling up to watch a festive film. Allow small, pleasant, joy filled moments to really sink in, noticing how they make you feel and perhaps staying with that feeling for a moment or two longer than you habitually would. This is a wonderful way to cultivate feelings of joy and gratitude.

2. Connection Meditation

If you’re feeling isolated, why not try a Connection Meditation, extending warmth and compassion to others. You might like to imagine a warm, glowing light radiating from your heart, saturating yourself with good wishes and inviting it to flow to others. This could be friends and family, people in a similar situation to you, those you know to be suffering, people you don’t know, extending as far as you feel comfortable, to all beings everywhere.

3. Compassionate Acceptance

If grief or other difficult feelings are arising, you might find a gentle Compassionate Acceptance practice helpful. Settling in, grounded in the body and breath, turn towards thosefeelings, even if just a little, just for a moment. What sensations are in the body? Can you breathe softly with them, noticing the quality and texture, whether they shift or change? If at any point this feels too much, you can always choose to return to a point of grounding, perhaps the hands or feet, or the weight of the body.

4. Breathing Space

To help pace and build in rest, or to pause if you’re feeling overwhelmed, a Breathing Space is ideal. It can be done anywhere, any time, even when you pop to the bathroom! You could make it a regular part of your day, or use it as an ‘emergency’ practice. Even simply drawing upon the essence of the practice, to pause and notice what’s present in your experience, perhaps taking a moment to invite the body and breath to soften as you do, can be helpful.

Wishing you a gentle, joy-filled festive season.

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About the Author: Laura Tivendale

Laura has lived with chronic illness and disability since her early teens and when she found herself desperately unwell at the age of thirty, she realised how habitual and automatic her life had become. She was introduced to mindfulness whilst in hospital, which sparked a curiosity and eagerness to learn more. That led her to participate in a Mindfulness for Health online course, and to later became a Breathworks accredited teacher, drawing upon her continued personal practice and previous experience in education.

Laura is delighted to be part of the Breathworks Associate Online Teaching Team. She has first-hand experience of the isolation, difficulties and layers of stress caused by chronic illness and disability, and is passionate about making mindfulness available to those most in need and who find it hardest to access.