What's the Difference Between Acceptance & Resignation?

Listen to the full episode here


The word acceptance often lands awkwardly.

We often think of it as giving-up, condoning bad behaviour, or a state of "I'm totally ok with this awful experience" that one can only aspire to achieve one day. But what if we told you acceptance is none of those things?

In our latest Meditation Support Clinic, Breathworks Associate Teacher Fidelma Farley explored this word and answered questions submitted in our free online mindfulness community. Together we looked at what acceptance really means in mindfulness practice, what it doesn’t mean, and how it can help us live with more ease.

Here are some highlights from the conversation.


Is acceptance just resignation? 

Acceptance doesn’t mean we like what’s happening. It doesn’t mean we stop seeking treatment or support. It’s just turning towards what’s here — and crucially, recognising that things are always moving and changing.

Resignation has a heavy, stuck quality. It’s like saying: this is terrible, I’m stuck with it, what’s the point. Acceptance, by contrast, is being aware of what’s happening now, and being open to the shifts and changes that occur.


This is how it is... for now

If we just say ‘this is how things are,’ that can slip into resignation. Adding ‘for now’ keeps the door open to change.

Fidelma shared how that little “for now” makes a big difference. Without it, acceptance can tip into resignation — the sense that things will always be this way. Adding “for now” reminds us that life is constantly moving and shifting. Pain, sensations, moods — they all ebb and flow.


Acceptance is not an endurance test

Acceptance is a key part of mindfulness practice — that we’re not fighting the reality of what’s happening in the moment. And kindness is also a huge part of acceptance. Without kindness, acceptance is just endurance.

Acceptance without kindness can feel like toughing it out, which can be harsh and unsustainable. When kindness is present, it softens. It becomes less about forcing ourselves to cope, and more about supporting ourselves through difficulty.

Sometimes that support sounds as simple as: “This is hard right now, and I’ll take care of myself as best I can”, where the kind choice might be a distraction or opening up to our wider experience, beyond the challenge.


Acceptance is not condoning bad behaviour

Acceptance is not condoning harmful or unkind behaviour. It’s not saying it’s okay. It’s simply recognising what’s happening without adding the extra struggle.

Acceptance isn’t about lowering our standards or allowing ourselves to be treated badly. It’s about seeing clearly what’s happening in this moment. From there, we have more freedom to choose our response.

When we’re locked in resistance — “this shouldn’t be happening, I can’t believe they said that” — it’s easy to get swept away by anger or despair. But when we practise acceptance, we can pause and say: “This is what’s happening right now.” That clarity gives us more space to decide: Do I speak up? Do I step away? Do I seek support?

In this way, acceptance is not about doing nothing. It’s about meeting reality as it is, and then responding with as much steadiness and wisdom as we can.


How practising acceptance can be freeing

With resignation we’re closing down — ‘what’s the point?’ Acceptance leaves us with more room to move.

That space gives us freedom to ask practical questions: “Okay, this is what’s here right now… is there anything I can do?” Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no. Either way, we can respond with more steadiness and less struggle.

Acceptance doesn’t erase pain or difficulty. But it changes our relationship with them. It opens the possibility of kindness, choice and even a little ease, moment by moment.


Full Podcast Episode

If you would like to catch the whole conversation with Fidelma on the theme of acceptance, you can click here to listen along via SoundCloud (link opens in new window).


About Fidelma

Fidelma became accredited with Breathworks as a mindfulness trainer in 2008 and as an Associate Trainer in 2013. As well as teaching Breathworks Mindfulness for Health and Mindfulness for Stress courses and workshops for the general public and a variety of groups and organisations, including M.S. Ireland, the Irish Heart Foundation, staff at St. Vincent’s University Hospital and students at University College Dublin.

She is a regular teacher of the Mindfulness for Health on-line course. She is a mentor for trainees as they go through their mindfulness teacher training with Breathworks. She also contributes to the teacher training programme, and she set up and ran the first Breathworks teacher training programme in Ireland in 2016.

Having worked as a university lecturer prior to becoming a mindfulness teacher, Fidelma is an excellent communicator and group facilitator. She became an accredited coach in 2016 and finds that her mindfulness and coaching practices inform each other in productive and meaningful ways.

Fidelma has a long-standing meditation and mindfulness practice, which continues to ground and sustain her. Her teaching is inspired by the desire to give others the opportunity to enhance their own health and happiness through mindfulness practices.

She has a particular interest in mindful eating and in the Kindly Awareness meditation practice, and has devised courses and workshops on these topics. She especially enjoys teaching mindfulness on a one-to-one basis, both in person and on-line. She lives in Co. Wicklow in Ireland with her husband and young son, enjoys walking and reading and is starting to discover the pleasures of gardening.

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